28 Sep 2011

We were REALLY hoping for a boy.

1 Comment CAH, Random

As I was watching this weeks epispode of Parenthood, the characters, ….were in the doctors hospital office talking about weather they wanted to learn the sex of their new baby. Obviously, they would find out eventually, but because their son has Aspergers, they were hoping for a girl because there would be less of a chance that she would have the same condition. The highly controversal process of “gender selection“, is something that many debate over…heatedly. I can see if from a perspective of a parent that is hoping for a certain sex because of a heridity condition that our children have a 25% chance if inheriting the condition and having the condition cause more life-long issues if you are of that certain sex. Never in a million years would I ever have thought that I would be in a position to speak on such matters, but because of my life experience, I do feel that I have a voice.

I do not speak heatedly on many subjects, but I do like to educate those who may want to know more about my situation. Those that are raising children with any rare condition have formed opinions on subject matters that they are now experts in, weather they like it or not. In this situation, I do now have an opinion on gender selection.”

As I was listening to the charachers in Parenthood talk about hoping for a girl, I closed my eyes and thought about my husband and I who had similar conversations. I was almost instantly transported back to the days when we found out that we were pregnant with #2 and #3. Because we already had J, it was our hope to continue having boys because of the lessened chance of possible complications of having a child with CAH. Yes, there still was a chance that the baby would not have CAH, but the sex of the baby came first. Yes, we were hoping for boys. Most parents hope for healthy babies. We were hoping for healthy baby boys. It saddens me to think that when I learned the sex of both of my girls, I wasn’t as excited as I probaly should have been. I was sad, scared, frightened, happy, nervous…so many emotions. With M, we found out soon later that she did not carry the condition. I cried like I was having the baby right then and there, in the middle of the intersection when I answered my phone. My Mom was there in the passenger seat and all I could do was thank God that she did not have CAH. It was then that I truly started to enjoy my pregnancy, carrying this beautiful baby girl that I would soon bring into this world.

With baby #3, when we found out that we were having a girl, I had still had hope. I had my doubts, but they were so over shadowed by what I knew. I knew that I had beaten the odds once and I was confident that we were going to beat the odds again. I had faith. I had hope. And when we learned that Baby Girl (#3) had the condition, I went…blank. I knew what we would be dealing with. I knew the road ahead of us. I knew that she would be the most loved baby girl on the planet, but, yes, I was disappointed. We were REALLY hoping for a boy.

Now, two years later, looking into the eyes of by precious toddler girl, I wouldn’t want her any other way. I will never forget the woman in the OB/GYN office that encouraged me to look at the picture of my baby girl. She said she was beautiful. It was only an outline, but she saw more. She knew that girls were wonderful. Girls are amazing. Women are powerful. And yes, I eventually became a believer too. And a little condition called CAH would not change me or my daughter, it will only make us stronger.

“But no matter what I am going to love her so much. I already do.” That’s how you feel no matter what God sends to you. So here’s to my daughters, without whom I would not be complete. And my son, who is stronger than I will ever be, is an inspiration. He inspires me each day to think about what really matters.

Marisa
written by
Marisa is a Mama to 4 kids and resides in Tampa, Florida with her family. Connect with her on Twitter @TampaMama to learn more about Tampa Bay and things to do with kids, Florida family travel, travel adventures and tips or her secret parenting tips for staying alive while wrangling 4 kids. She has a "official" business background in marketing + PR + events, but now plays daily with social media strategy, brand development and digital media. Days are long. Life is short.

One Response to “We were REALLY hoping for a boy.”

  1. Reply We were REALLY hoping for a boy. | Gender Selection Web says:

    […] original post here: We were REALLY hoping for a boy. This entry was posted in gender selection and tagged certain-sex, children, gender selection, […]

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