“Jake! Jake! I know your in there. Come on Bubba. Look at me. Talk to me. Say my name. Who am I? Come on Jake. Wake up. Please. Please squeeze my hand. Please.”
I said these words in my worst nightmare. Because that is what I am convinced it was. I’ve gone through the days that just past and it doesn’t seem real. But I know it happened.
Jake is doing amazing. He doesn’t remember much. He remembers playing in his baseball game on Saturday and earning the game ball. Not much after that. Wish I could say that I’ve blocked the next 72 hours from my memory too.
On Monday when the Nurologist came to talk to us, he said he didn’t like what he saw. He said we would have to be patient. Wait it out. But it didn’t look good. I think that was when things went surreal. This wasn’t happening. Not possible. I don’t really remember Monday either. I hadn’t slept in 24 hours. I had not had coffee. I didn’t care what I looked like or about much else. It was crisis mode and my body took over for me.
Hour after hour passed. He did start to show signs that he was coming around. I prayed. I made promises. We waited. I cried. I talked, but can’t remember to who. I saw improvements but didn’t know. Slow. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
On Monday at 6:30, I walked into the room and Jake said, “Hi Mommy!” Like he does every morning. Every morning of every day. Just like nothing had happened. I snapped out of the nightmare I was in and jumped into the dream I had that everything would be ok.
Being home. Having my family together. Carting all 4 kids places. Watching them play. Listening to their sweet voices. Reading bedtime stories. Tucking 4 kids in bed. Kissing them goodnight and telling them I will see them tomorrow. This is my dream. I didn’t realize that I was living my dream until I woke up from this nightmare. I have my dream life and I hope I never wake up from this sleep.