This is 35.

This is 35: I will survive. I turn 35 in one day. 35. I am old. Or am I young? I’m 35. I think that this is going to be good age. A little crazy. But all so worth it.

I once read an article that said 45 was the “eye of the storm”. If that is correct, then 35, which is not TOO far away from 45, but still on the horizon, could be considered the start of the most intense years of our life. It seems that, just like a hurricane, this is the year where we are just in it. Life is busy. Life is fast. Life is intense. Life is swirling us and before you know it, you are 45 and in the eye of the storm. Then you can relax…for a while at least.

This is 35.

At thirty-five, “I Will Survive” has become my mantra. I wake up busier than the day before. I am a professional juggler: kids, career, friends, husband, marriage, friends, self and trying to keep every ball in the air and never disappoint. I am trying to justify that I am doing the right things for my children, because these are the formative years and if you mess those up, then OMG! I try to remind myself that they are only young once. Yet, that seems to come a day late and a dollar short. I know that all these crazy stages shall pass, but when one is weathering the storm, it seems like these “phases” will never end.

Thirty-five is being able to say, “I’m not that old!” I feel the vibrancy of life and want to embrace it! I am still young enough for H&M (on occasion) and J Crew & GAP and think still got it when I walk into a room fully together (which isn’t often, but when it is, WATCH OUT!). I could train for a triathlon tomorrow and a marathon too. Why not? Because I am 35 and I am still young. I can do anything (at least for a short while longer.)

Thirty-five is thanking your parents everyday for what they did for you when you were a child. You are re-living your childhood (and seeing exactly what they had to go through for you). You see the value of being an active involved parent and pray that this amazing childhood, that is making you crazy trying to create, your children will cherish forever.

Thirty-five means having the confidence to sort through life and figure out what really matters…to you and prioritize. Between, career, kids and husband, thirty-five means finding out about what makes you tick. And being ok with whatever it is that fuels your life. You also have the power to know that this is the time to change the course of your life. It is still not too late.

Thirty-five is intense. Busy. Crazy. Chaotic. Never-ending. Tiring. Happy. Sad. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The days are long and they years are short. You realize that there are just not enough hours in the day to accomplish what you need to accomplish. You stay up late. You get up early. You get it done. You rise to the top. You just keep going.

Thirty-five is building dreams on the hard work of today. We work harder, longer in hopes that in 10 years, we can relax. We pass on vacations, yet we try to make moment we do have on vacation the best memory ever! We constantly say, “When the kids are older…” We hope that the work we put into things that are happening right now, will pay off for the future. We are tired. All the lugging around to gymnastics, baseball, swimming, and the 10,000 extra activities we involve our kids in, hoping that it will get our kids into the best colleges, teams, etc and set them up for the brightest of futures. These little league and dance recital days are the days of hard work we hope will pay off for our kids. And when it does, we can then sit back and relax from the fruits of our labor.

At 35, we face fears. Head on. We learn that some things we just cannot change. We handle. We figure it out. We realize it. We move on. Quickly. We don’t have time to sit and dwell. Time is of the essence. Life is moving fast and if we stop to blink, we might miss the next opportunity. But if we do, there should be alternative opportunity looming in the distance we have not stumbled upon yet. It’s not too late.

At thirty-five, the forks in the road are plenty. Stay at home with kids. Have more kids. Work and stay at home part-time. Work full time and have help. The options are over-whelming. And no can tell you what to do. Or if what you choose to do is the right thing. And the right thing for who? You, the kids, your career, your family? You must decide. Quickly. And have the confidence that you chose the right path for you. But at 35, we have come to the realization that we must do what we know is right for us. And having the confidence to choose for yourself is half the battle.

Thirty-five is definitely the point in life where my emotions are as intense as they have ever been. You are the Mother Lion. You stand up for what is right. You protect your loved ones from harm. You stand vigilant to make sure that every move you make will not bring harm to those you love. You are known to be slightly crazy. You do not cave to peer pressure. You do what you need to do to get “it” done. You let the little things pass and the littler things take center stage as you know that sometimes they mean the most. You love deeper. You know that time is seeming to slip away. You finally become aware of this life that is yours. You can look back, but change nothing. You look to the future with hope. And know that the future still has time to be rewritten if you so choose.  Again, it’s not too late.

But that is just who I am these days. The crazy thirty-five year old lady, who’s busier than ever with a life that is some what controlled chaos. I’m owning it. Because I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know there will be a time when I long to be back in the trenches. We earn our stripes here. The eye of the storm of life will be upon us ever too soon. It will one day be calm. And I will think that the storm has passed, until the other side of the storm hits later in life.

Life is but a dream. A very short dream in the grand scheme of things. I am thankful to have made it to thirty-five.