It’s 7:45 and I’m still in bed. The house is quiet. Too quiet. I’m down a few kidstoday because my Bigs- the oldest two- flew to Grandma’s house for a few weeks.
I’m not gonna lie. I feel like I’m on vacation too.
I have good kids, but I just don’t realize how much work they are until someone else steps into help, which isn’t often because of the distance (physical) we have between family. Of course I can pay my VERY qualified sitters to help, but sometimes I NEED the help to save my sanity. It’s work. No joke.
In the short 4 hours I had yesterday, knowing that my two big kids are in very good hands, I could really relax and enjoy my two Littles. We went to gymnastics. We waited patiently for her to finish. {Typically, I’m running to the store, driving home, getting dinner started, finishing homework with someone, taking a work call in the short hour I have while someone is in class.} but it was different this time. I wasn’t worried about what to do for dinner, or what my day was like tomorrow. Or what we would do for the rest of the night. I kind of just let it unfold.
I didn’t realize how much I plan, have things planned or have things on my mind to plan when I have all four kids. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO!
With four it’s different. SO different. Yes, I joke that it’s just one more to feed or clothe, but there’s a lot of them. Coordination of carpools, play dates, meals and even downtime at home- I’m constantly busy. If I’m reading to someone, then I still have to help someone answe another question, or do another activity with the other one. The bickering, the brother/ sister arguements, the refereeing… It’s constant. I’m in constant motion all day. It’s hard to sit down and stop, because your momentum is gone. And that’s hard to get back. I joke I don’t sit down. But I really don’t.
The house is quite. Kids are sleeping in late because no one else is up to wake them up. Dinner was leftovers for two, not six, which is impossible. Bath time took 5 minutes. Bedtime took 5 minutes. My evening was…relaxing. I really can’t get over how different it is with two.
We are hanging out this morning in bed (because we all fit in bed.) we are planning on going to the Children’s Museum and out for bagels. Everything seems just easier (and cheaper and more relaxing) with just two.
BUT….
;I am lost without them. A piece of my heart isn’t here. I really don’t know how to handle two kids. It’s TOO easy. I’m totally lost without their constant need to have me be the person who is their world. I live for them. I might complain about making lunches for 3 kids, homemade breakfasts, carting them around to here and there, planning play dates and activities…but it is who I am and they were all given to me for a reason.
I’m on vacation this week with the Littles. That’s what I’m chalking this up as. An experiment. We will have an awesome time I’m sure. I joke that I get lazy when even one kid is missing from my mix. I am going to have some downtime this week so give me a jingle if you want to get together. Maybe we will even get invited over to dinner at a friends’ house! {Because you know no one ever invites the family of 6 over! But that’s a whole new post!}